Custard on Ice

Mutable vs Cardinal Air

Sometimes I wonder why don’t we just get together. We both make a great couple, having the best time of our lives when we’re with each other. We could talk the night away, we could just sit in silence just holding hands. The only wall between us is our own fear of the world.

He’s afraid of what the world would do to him if we ever get together, I’m afraid of what I would to to the world.

We’ve known each other for many years, through many phases of both our lives. From the naivety of youth to the wisdom of adulthood. We know we’re the only ones we can count on for anything. We know we are the only most trusted persons.

Frankly speaking, if it ever comes down to it, maybe someday we could be the power couple from both sides of the world, making this country a better place to live in. His vigour with my ideals, when mutable air meets cardinal air, gemini and libra will always be the a match made fr greatness.

When these two flirty types come together, there’s an easy rapport since they’re genuinely curious about other people. Both have a light approach, which makes the relationship feel fresh. They’ll enjoy sharing ideas about everything, taking in cultural events and perhaps collaborating. Libra loves to entertain, and Gemini is a people person, too. This sets them up to be great hosts, a couple that has lots of “couple friends.” At home, they’ll share the minutia of their lives, observations, jokes, analysis and brilliant inspirations. With Libra introducing new ideas and Gemini adding a stream of random thoughts, there’ll never be a dull moment in this household.

This near-perfect match may only hit a snag if things never deepen beyond superficial affection. It takes awhile for Gemini to settle down with a one and only, which Libra finds a natural state. Libra may think Gemini not serious enough, especially when it comes to “working on the relationship.” Libra helps Gemini take the pieces of an idea, and shape it into a viable plan of action. Gemini brings out the playful kid in Libra by being spontaneous. Libra finds it exhilarating to be in the moment with Gemini and lose the self-consciousness.

Their intimate life reflects their general high spirited personalities. This is a pair that likely expresses love verbally with love notes, and whispering sweet nothings. The Gemini-Libra couple is fun to be with and has a notable joie de vivre. Great for marriage, raising kids, and living happily ever after.

03

The news was about him, having a good time with his peeps down there. A hint of bitter sourness hit my heart. I wish I could be part of his fun. But of course I will have to be there with him for that to happen. Instead, here I am, miles away, wishing thoughts of me came across his mind as he laughed his night away.

Sometimes I wonder if this relationship is going to work out or not. When together, we feel the world at our feet, but apart…. I feel imprisoned by the silence, the cold, the longing.

He never seemed to mind about our different worlds, he even finds it amusing. Is that all I am? An escape?

“Your world is my escape from masks and acts. You are what’s real to me. You keep me alive.”, he said during his last visit.
“And when I see you on the news, am I supposed to see that as your mask or is that the real you?”
“Baby, THIS is me. That…”, pointing at the muted TV, “is not even close to who I am inside. Are you having second thoughts about us?”

He looked at me with his deep blue eyes, embracing me in the darkness of his soul, as if wishing I’d give it light, telling me how much he needs me.

“I don’t know.” I placed my head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat, as if looking for some kind of whisper from between the pulses, telling me it is all going to be okay.

He understands me, in more ways I can ever imagine. Maybe because he’s just as dark and twisty as I am. He just held me closer.

“I love you. Remember that.” he whispered and gave a long meaningful kiss on my head.

02

She sat on her bed, her mind wandering into its own twilight. The moon is on its waning period, shyly beaming outside her window. The night is clear, reflecting its mystery on the waters of Wollaton River. Amy’s luxury apartment has a perfect view of the still waters.

Sleep deprived for the last two weeks, Amy couldn’t get him off her mind. With his chameleonic eyes, Amy couldn’t resist falling for him.

“Come with me, come with me to LA”, he said the last time they had dinner.

In her heart, she would love to say yes, but engulfed by her own fear, she couldn’t.

“We’re different. I…” she couldn’t finish her sentence. She looked away from his eyes, far and empty stare into the busy street of Belfast.

“What more proof do you want? I love you! After everything I’ve been through with all the women I’ve been with, nobody makes me feel the way you do.”

“And what’s that?”

“You make me feel safe. Your eyes say you love me, your touch says you love me, why won’t you come with me?”

“You know why.”

“Arrgh… forget about your past. Let’s build a new future. I’ll build it for you.”

“Can we just enjoy tonight? please? You’ll be flying out tomorrow morning. I’m sory I can’t go with you, not now.”

“Will you ever?”

Amy took only a deep breath. Looking into his eyes, trying hard not to let her tears roll. Sort of trying to tell him through her eyes, “I love you too, I wish I could go with you. But I haven’t healed my heart. I’m still hurt. I don’t want to love you in half. You’re too precious.”

John stood up from his chair, as if undertanding her silent scream. He held her tight. Taking a deep breath, as if trying to inhale her whole being so that she would be protected inside of him. A long embrace, she couldn’t hold her tears. John touched her chin, kissed her deep. The salty taste of her tears, mixed with a sweet kiss from a man who is madly in love.

The rest of dinner was somewhat quiet.They talked about books, films, light topics from the price of berries to a woman passing by with her rag-looking dog.

01

Un-noticed among the crowd, she stood, waiting. The excitement of seeing him again after a while, the dream, the yearning. There, behind the glass doors, queueing, waiting for the airport immigration to give back his passport.

He came out, running, throwing his bag and swooped her off her feet, kissing her. Wearing his brown leather jacket, the jacket she very much loved on the man. They kissed, laughed, almost in tears infact. People watching, cameras snapping, but they just don’t care. The world is theirs. This is the first time they meet again after almost a year since their hello.

—-

Winter, a year ago.

Amy didn’t know what to do for the long holiday, so she figured she’d just go to Ireland. Dublin - Belfast - Cork County. The trip did not get interesting until she got to Cork.

One cold morning, while having brakfast, she saw a familiar face. Panic stricken because it is the face of a man she knew too well on TV, she blushed and looked down to her mash. Telling herself to pick up the courage to talk to him and ask for a picture, she did exactly that, beginning with, “Hi, I like your work. I’m Amy” - feeling stupid after such a plain pick up line, but euphoric when John Collins asked her to join him.

“what do you have planned for your holiday?” was what John said when Amy told him she came from a far away country.

“Nothing, actually. Just breakfast, the rest, I let life decide.”

“Then I shall show you around.”

*gasp in her head*

Effortlessly, they talked and connected. He showed her places where he spent time growing up, not knowing what life has in store for him. Days of mischievous childhood. She enjoyed his stories. Every word, every laugh, every distant gaze. By night, they’d talk by the fire, hot chocolates at hand, talking about the past, the present, the future until they fall asleep head to head.

Morning comes, everything felt so natural. Almost habitual.

“Well, today, you are having your meal at my house.”

“Ehm, mkay…”

To her, it was surreal. Being with her fantasy, instead, this is real!

It was biting cold outside, and yet the two almost hopped around side by side, excited by each other. He told her about life as an artist. She told him about life as a scholar. He told her about his dreams, freely. She told him about hers, just as uncensored.

“I can’t believe I felt so alive” - both thought, while secretly watching each other during meals. Pretending to be friends, knowing they have more chemistry than a peck on the cheek. Afraid of the time they have to part. She has to go back to her studies, he, has to go back to the glamour.

Promising to keep in touch, they exchanged numbers and emails.

—————

New Year’s. Out partying with her friends, celebrating the upcoming year. She hoped he’d remember her. she closed her eyes, while the countdown started. 3, i wish he’d remember, 2, i wish we’d meet again, 1… i wish… her cell beeped.

“Happy New Year. Wish I could be there.” - John texted.

it was a feeling she couldn’t explain. Amy snapped a picture of her smile, sending it with a happy new year note.

“Not sending you mine. Keeping you curious”

She lighted up, and her friends hugged her: you’re smitten!!

Maybe she is. She definitely is!

————-

Text by text, until she had to concentrate on her paper.

“Hi… I thought I’d call and give you a cheer.”

“Wow… thanx. How’s the shoot?”

“You know… tiring sometimes. Still have a lot to work on.”

“Take care, kay?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout me. You just worry about your paper. I gotta go, talk to you later.”

She passed, A+.

The next day, a box of chocolates in her mail, with a note “Knew you could do it”.

Phone calls turn into yearning. He did very well and production finished early. She did very well and is scheduled to graduate before christmas.

“I’m coming home. Pick me up?”

“Definitely!”

Amy still couldn’t believe everything is happening for real. John couldn’t believe he has found his heart a home.